Monday, October 12, 2009


Several months ago I heard someone talking on the Oprah show. She was talking about making a list of all the qualities you want in a future companion, and how helpful it could be. (Even if you are married, you could take these same principles and apply them in other areas of your life.)

I always smile when people talk about these lists, because I made a list like that several years ago. I listed 67 qualities I wanted in my future husband. I marked the qualities that were essential with an "E" and I marked the ones that would be nice with a "W" (for wants).

But, this is the important thing I did that no one mentions, and I believe this is the reason it works for some people and not others! It makes me crazy that the "experts" leave out this all-important step: When I finished writing the list, I looked at it and said, "Now I need to become this person." And I went to work becoming the very person I described in my list!

When I met my husband, I knew on my first date that I could marry him. I was 26 years old, and had never felt that before - I was a skeptic, and definitely not a believer in "love at first sight". So I was really surprised when I came home from that first date and knew with a certainty that I could marry him. Now I realize that I was in vibration with the person I had described and immediately recognized it (for those of you who are religious, I recognize that the Spirit bore witness to me that night, but I also believe that it did because I had prepared myself to receive the answer). I lost the list long before I met my husband, but my husband definitely has all the qualities I remember being on the list (the wants as well as the essentials).

In "As a Man Thinketh" James Allen said: "Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are."

There is a big difference between wanting a million dollars and becoming a millionaire. The wanting is just idle dreaming; the becoming requires inspired, consistent action towards a goal/vision (which, of course, requires the goal/vision to begin with). Applying it to my personal example above, there is a big difference between wanting a great partner, and defining what a great partner is and working to become a great partner yourself!


test said...

Great point. You are absolutely right. We have to become the person we want to attract.

mytimetoblossom said...

Great point. You are absolutely right. We have to become the person we want to attract.