When I think of all the learning and growing I did last year, there is no way I could have known last January what was possible for me for the entire year!!! I basically see two big problems with new year resolutions:
1. They say it takes about 30 days to start a new habit. I know that I'm a procrastinator so if I give myself 365 days to accomplish what it takes 30 days to do, then it is likely that I am never going to get around to it.
2. I usually set so many goals at one time and try to accomplish them all at once -- which is a sure formula for failure!
So my new year resolution this year is to stop doing new year resolutions. Instead I am going to do new month resolutions. It takes about 30 days to form a new habit and so I'm picking a new habit every month that I want to create.
My January resolution is weight loss!!! (I'm sure I'm not alone in this!) I lost 30 lb last year, and this year I have lost 6 lb so far; 14 more to go! As I focus on losing weight and feeling better about myself, I will have a better idea of what to focus on in February.
Every month I will be focusing on a new resolution!!! I can't wait to create the best year of my life!!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, October 30, 2009
Magic Question - Part 3 of 3
Earlier this year I was on a marketing call that was so much more than a marketing call! It was more about getting rid of clutter and getting to the bottom of who we really are.
The speaker introduced me to this powerful 4-word question: "So I can what?" Use it over and over again until you find out what is really important to you. For example, if you say that money is important to you, you would follow it up with "So I can what?" If you say spend more time with your family, then again you would follow it up with "So I can what?" You keep asking this over and over until you get to the very bottom of what you want.
In my case, I got to "connecting with people," and couldn't think of an answer to the question, even though I was pretty sure I could go deeper. He advised me to just stay with that answer for a while and keep asking myself the magic question until I got an aha! After the call, I got the aha! and was able to go down even deeper! I love connecting with people so I can share knowledge! I love to teach and to learn, and that is what gets me really, really excited! Now I will stay with "teach and learn," and perhaps one day I will have another aha! and go even deeper!
The cool thing is that when you get that deep inside you, you realize that what you really, really want, you already have! And it will be something that will always be with you -- and cannot be bought or sold with money. It will not depend on popularity or on others agreeing with you. It is who you are at the very core!
The closer you get to who you really are, the less fear you will have in your life! How cool is that?
The speaker introduced me to this powerful 4-word question: "So I can what?" Use it over and over again until you find out what is really important to you. For example, if you say that money is important to you, you would follow it up with "So I can what?" If you say spend more time with your family, then again you would follow it up with "So I can what?" You keep asking this over and over until you get to the very bottom of what you want.
In my case, I got to "connecting with people," and couldn't think of an answer to the question, even though I was pretty sure I could go deeper. He advised me to just stay with that answer for a while and keep asking myself the magic question until I got an aha! After the call, I got the aha! and was able to go down even deeper! I love connecting with people so I can share knowledge! I love to teach and to learn, and that is what gets me really, really excited! Now I will stay with "teach and learn," and perhaps one day I will have another aha! and go even deeper!
The cool thing is that when you get that deep inside you, you realize that what you really, really want, you already have! And it will be something that will always be with you -- and cannot be bought or sold with money. It will not depend on popularity or on others agreeing with you. It is who you are at the very core!
The closer you get to who you really are, the less fear you will have in your life! How cool is that?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Magic Question - Part 2 of 3
Many of us spend a lot of our lives in resistance. We are pushing so hard against what we don't want that we are actually creating it! You may even know that you are in resistance, but you don't know how to get out of it!
Resistance often leads to self-judgment or judging others. I had an experience where I was really feeling bad about a particular relationship in my life; in fact, I was beating myself up because of these bad feelings I have been carrying these past years. Finally I backed up and said, "Isn't it interesting that I feel this way about this person?" Immediately, all resistance, stress, judgment, and negative emotion left me. We know that "that which we resist, persists," but that concept had never been so clear to me as it was on that day.
And the magic question that dispelled the resistance was "Isn't it interesting that...?" It totally allowed me to look at the situation in a different light. And then I followed it up with the first magic question: "How can I...?" "What can I do differently...?"
For example: "Isn't it interesting that my son always pushes my buttons?" "Isn't it interesting that I have 6 hours' worth of work, and only 3 hours to accomplish it?" "Isn't it interesting that I got upset when that driver cut me off?" "Isn't it interesting that I need $1,000 for an unexpected bill, and I don't have any extra money in my account?"
And then when you've removed the resistance and judgment, it's easier to follow those questions up with "How can I have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship with my son?" [spend time with him doing things he enjoys] "How can I accomplish 6 hours' worth of work in the next 3 hours?" [Maybe some of it can be done another day; maybe some of it can be delegated; maybe a simpler process will come to you] "How can I be at peace while I drive?" "How can I attract an extra $1,000 in the next couple of months?" [Maybe I can do a week-long summer camp for Preschoolers or elementary school students - or drama - or dance - or piano]
It's been fun to see how "interesting" my problems really are!
I'm curious to see how it works for you, too! Won't it be "interesting" to see if it works for you, too?
Resistance often leads to self-judgment or judging others. I had an experience where I was really feeling bad about a particular relationship in my life; in fact, I was beating myself up because of these bad feelings I have been carrying these past years. Finally I backed up and said, "Isn't it interesting that I feel this way about this person?" Immediately, all resistance, stress, judgment, and negative emotion left me. We know that "that which we resist, persists," but that concept had never been so clear to me as it was on that day.
And the magic question that dispelled the resistance was "Isn't it interesting that...?" It totally allowed me to look at the situation in a different light. And then I followed it up with the first magic question: "How can I...?" "What can I do differently...?"
For example: "Isn't it interesting that my son always pushes my buttons?" "Isn't it interesting that I have 6 hours' worth of work, and only 3 hours to accomplish it?" "Isn't it interesting that I got upset when that driver cut me off?" "Isn't it interesting that I need $1,000 for an unexpected bill, and I don't have any extra money in my account?"
And then when you've removed the resistance and judgment, it's easier to follow those questions up with "How can I have a peaceful and fulfilling relationship with my son?" [spend time with him doing things he enjoys] "How can I accomplish 6 hours' worth of work in the next 3 hours?" [Maybe some of it can be done another day; maybe some of it can be delegated; maybe a simpler process will come to you] "How can I be at peace while I drive?" "How can I attract an extra $1,000 in the next couple of months?" [Maybe I can do a week-long summer camp for Preschoolers or elementary school students - or drama - or dance - or piano]
It's been fun to see how "interesting" my problems really are!
I'm curious to see how it works for you, too! Won't it be "interesting" to see if it works for you, too?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Magic Question - Part 1 of 3
I have learned that when I ask better questions, I get better answers! There are open-ended questions (an infinite possibility of answers) and there are closed-ended questions (yes or no). Using a closed-ended question (one that has a very specific answer) is like searching the hard drive of your computer. You are very limited in the number of answers that are available. Using an open-ended question is like searching the internet – the number of answers available are infinite, and it’s possible that you will find an answer you never would have thought on your own.
This week we are going to explore the power of using open-minded questions in our self-talk, and in our talk with other people. I call these magic questions.
The first magic question is using words like “How…” or “What if…” instead of “Why…” or “Am I…”.
So instead of asking “Why am I always broke?” or “Am I ever going to lose weight?”, try asking questions like: “How can I double my income this next year?” or “What is one thing I can do differently that will greatly increase my financial outlook?” or “How can I change the way I view my body/weight loss?” or “What is something I can do differently to achieve a healthier body?”
Try it out! I would love to hear the experiences you have with this!
This week we are going to explore the power of using open-minded questions in our self-talk, and in our talk with other people. I call these magic questions.
The first magic question is using words like “How…” or “What if…” instead of “Why…” or “Am I…”.
So instead of asking “Why am I always broke?” or “Am I ever going to lose weight?”, try asking questions like: “How can I double my income this next year?” or “What is one thing I can do differently that will greatly increase my financial outlook?” or “How can I change the way I view my body/weight loss?” or “What is something I can do differently to achieve a healthier body?”
Try it out! I would love to hear the experiences you have with this!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Weight Loss Fears
I can definitely relate to the fears that so many people feel about weight. I recently lost 30 pounds (I still have 30 more to go...,) and I can't believe what a difference it makes in my confidence. I keep telling my husband that it shouldn't matter, but then feeling like it shouldn't matter just adds more shame and guilt to what I was already feeling (I'll be blogging more about that next week...). As if I didn't have enough negative emotion already tied into it.
I have learned the importance of being in harmony spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Each of those areas is like a lock on a gate, and when all 4 locks are unlocked, the gate opens up and literally invites you to walk through. Not scary at all!!!
I was aligned spiritually and emotionally so I couldn't figure out why the weight wasn't coming off. I listened to a self-hypnosis CD by a respected person in that field EVERY night for 30 nights (to get myself mentally aligned). Within 2 weeks, a weight loss method I had never heard of FOUND ME!!! After more than 10 years of "failing," it was great to be completely aligned for success!
I know that fear keeps a lot of people from losing weight (or from any other success in their life), but once I was aligned spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, all the fear melted away!
(If you want to know more about how I lost weight, feel free to check out my website at www.coachalisa.com. I will be adding more information in the next couple of months, too!)
I have learned the importance of being in harmony spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Each of those areas is like a lock on a gate, and when all 4 locks are unlocked, the gate opens up and literally invites you to walk through. Not scary at all!!!
I was aligned spiritually and emotionally so I couldn't figure out why the weight wasn't coming off. I listened to a self-hypnosis CD by a respected person in that field EVERY night for 30 nights (to get myself mentally aligned). Within 2 weeks, a weight loss method I had never heard of FOUND ME!!! After more than 10 years of "failing," it was great to be completely aligned for success!
I know that fear keeps a lot of people from losing weight (or from any other success in their life), but once I was aligned spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, all the fear melted away!
(If you want to know more about how I lost weight, feel free to check out my website at www.coachalisa.com. I will be adding more information in the next couple of months, too!)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What makes you real?
This is one of my favorite all-time quotes from a lady who I really look up to and admire, Marjorie Hinckley:
“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk’s lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
Take some time today and think about -- and WRITE DOWN -- some of the great things you do all the time that make you a real person! Focus on all the great things you do, and you will start to see what an amazing person you really are!!!
“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk’s lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
Take some time today and think about -- and WRITE DOWN -- some of the great things you do all the time that make you a real person! Focus on all the great things you do, and you will start to see what an amazing person you really are!!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
We are Real!
I love it when certain themes keep coming up for me over and over! Then I know I really need to pay attention and learn from them! One theme that has been coming up for me a lot lately is how we see ourselves. So that's what I'm going to blog about this week.
Most of you know that I recently lost 30 pounds. I hate that when I look in the mirror instead of celebrating the 30 pounds I have lost, I often feel myself getting discouraged over the 30 pounds I still need to lose. How many times do we look in the mirror and see the one or two less-than-perfect features on our bodies, while we totally overlook our beauty?
The media is lying to us when they tell us what the perfect woman is supposed to look like. They use tricks like lighting, angles, photo-shopping, etc to enhance the looks of the models. We were never meant to look like that -- we were meant to look like what we see when we look in the mirror!
A picture is worth a thousand words so I'm going to stop talking now and let you watch this instead:
Most of you know that I recently lost 30 pounds. I hate that when I look in the mirror instead of celebrating the 30 pounds I have lost, I often feel myself getting discouraged over the 30 pounds I still need to lose. How many times do we look in the mirror and see the one or two less-than-perfect features on our bodies, while we totally overlook our beauty?
The media is lying to us when they tell us what the perfect woman is supposed to look like. They use tricks like lighting, angles, photo-shopping, etc to enhance the looks of the models. We were never meant to look like that -- we were meant to look like what we see when we look in the mirror!
A picture is worth a thousand words so I'm going to stop talking now and let you watch this instead:
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