Because of Him

This Easter I have loved reading all the posts on Facebook in reference to this video about the Savior:

When I woke up this morning, this is all I could think about so I wanted to post my own list!

Because of Him, I can be better today than I was yesterday.
Because of Him,  I can be confident that miracles are and will be a regular part of my life.
Because of Him, I have faith that all my struggles and trials are for my own good and will make me a better person.
Because of Him, I know the best is yet to come!
Because of Him, I know I will live again
Because of Him, I know I will live again with those I love who have passed away from this life (like my mother)
Because of Him, I can be with my family forever
Because of Him, I have the courage to do what is right - in spite of opposition
Because of Him, I can patiently wait for my future to unfold
Because of Him, I can overcome my weaknesses
Because of Him, I know my true worth!

Eternal Perspective

Day 12:

I am reminded of an analogy my father told me years ago when I was going through a difficult time... He said that our life is like a huge tapestry and we are seeing the working side of it with all the knots and what appear to be mistakes.  But one day we will see it from an eternal perspective -- the way God sees it now -- and we will see the beautiful tapestry that we have woven throughout our life!

The knots and color changes are all part of it -- Just because we can't always see the patterns clearly from the "working" side of the tapestry doesn't make the design any less beautiful or amazing!

Trust that your life is amazing and beautiful, even when it doesn't appear that way!

Always Believe

Day 11:

You always have the choice to believe that great things are coming!  

I have a sister who was going through a difficult time when she adopted the mantra: "When I have a choice, I choose to believe.... And I always have a choice!" She was amazed at how much better she felt about life when she said that, and before long some great blessings came into her life. 

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen...

Happiness IS Enough!

Day 10:

Sometimes we have a hard time being happy because we are expecting more than happiness... We are expecting perfection.

Life isn't perfect so stop expecting it to be...

This past year happiness has seemed out of my reach. It feels like I'm so close to being happy again, and then it goes just outside my reach again.  I realized that there were areas in my life where I was clinging to unrealistic expectations. When I lowered those expectations and increased my gratitude, I found happiness again!

Encourage Others

Day 9:
A large part of being truly happy is helping others to be happy. If you help enough other people find happiness, you will surely find it yourself.

You want to be happy? Bring joy to others!
You want to be encouraged? Praise and encourage others!

A Bad Day is Just a Day

Day 8:

We all have bad days - they are just part of life. A bad day doesn't mean a bad life. In fact, several bad days in a row doesn't mean you have a bad life.

I have always followed this simple rule: Whenever it feels like everything is going wrong, just wait 3 days to see if it improves. It always does... especially when you are looking for signs of improvement! I find myself focusing on all the ways my life is looking up and before I know it life is good again!

Be positive to Attract Great Things

Day 7:
To be happy, focus on all the things that are going RIGHT in your life! If you have a computer to read this blog on, and the ability to see and to read, then you already have so much that is going right in your life!

As you focus on all that is right in your world, you will start noticing how much of your life really is great! And more great things will start coming into your life!

Happiness is an Inside Job

Day 6:
Always remember that happiness is an inside job! Decide to be happy and move forward... If you wait for your external world to align perfectly to bring you happiness, it is never going to happen!

The Best is Yet to Come!

Day 5:

This is one of my favorite quotes to repeat when I'm feeling like nothing is going my way! By now I have lived long enough to know that it is always the darkest before the dawn, and that the sun always comes up - no matter how dark it may seem right now!

All is right and good with the world. And...
The best is yet to come!

Are You Happy?

Day 4:
Are you happy? If so, then keep doing what you're doing!!!

If not, is there something you can change that would help you be happier? Is there someone you can forgive? Is there some false belief that you could let go?

Start with one small thing you can let go of -- or start doing -- that will help you be a little bit happier today!

Part 2: Pursuit of Happiness

Day 3:

Parable of the King's Emerald

Young Rupert stood by the side of the road watching an unusual number of people hurry past. At length he recognized a friend. "Where are all of you going in such a hurry?" he asked.

The friend paused... "the King has lost his royal emerald! ... Everyone is searching, for the King has offered a reward to the one who finds it. Come, we must hurry."

"But I cannot go without asking Grandmother," faltered Rupert.

"Then I cannot wait. I want to find the emerald," replied his friend.

Rupert hurried back to the cabin at the edge of the woods to seek his grandmother's permission, but his grandmother shook her head. "What would the sheep do?" she asked. "Already they are restless in the pen, waiting to be taken to the pasture, and please do not forget to take them to water when the sun shines high in the heavens."

Sorrowfully, Rupert took the sheep to the pasture, and at noon he led them to the brook in the woods. There he sat on a large stone by the stream. "If I could only have had a chance to look for the King's emerald!" he thought. Turning his head to gaze down at the sandy bottom of the brook, suddenly he stared into the water. What was it? It could not be! He leaped in the water...

"The King's emerald!" he shouted.

With shining eyes Rupert ran to his grandmother's hut to tell her of his great find. "Bless you, my boy," she said, "but you never would have found it if you had not been doing your duty, herding the sheep."

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I love this parable! Too often we are searching for happiness outside of ourselves. We truly find happiness when we put first things first and when we "tend the sheep." Rupert didn't find the King's emerald by running around looking for it like all the others were doing. He found the emerald by taking care of the sheep and being where he was supposed to be. As we focus our time and attention on loving those around us (whether or not they deserve it;) and learning and growing, we will discover that happiness has been inside us the whole time!

Take a few minutes and think about some of the things that make you happy right now!

HAPPY 2014!!!

I have one New Years' resolution for 2014: To be as happy as I can possibly be:

By nature I am an optimistic person, but in the past couple of years I have noticed negativity creeping in. And it feels like it has been harder to be happy. So I am starting 2014 with a 30-day challenge to be as happy as possible every single day... no matter what is happening (or not happening) in my world!

It's okay if you woke up tired and grumpy this morning (like I did) - nothing can take away our hope that this year we will be happier than we ever have been!

Celebrate Your Life!!!

We are so conditioned to find what's wrong with our life so we can fix it.  We forget to CELEBRATE all the amazing things we are already doing!  No wonder we forget how amazing we are!

Let's imagine your brain gives you a point for each completed task!  This means you get 1 point for walking to the mailbox and back; you also get 1 point for running a marathon.  Same 1 point.

When you finish the marathon, you celebrate -- because you've worked really, really hard to reach that goal.  You've posted pictures on Facebook and everyone is telling you what an amazing thing you have accomplished!  With all this celebrating, your brain acknowledges that you have completed your goal and gives you your point!

When you returned from your mailbox, there wasn't a group of people at your front door celebrating your trip to the mailbox.  You didn't post a picture of your mailbox on Facebook sharing your trip with the world.  No one is telling you how amazing that trip to the mailbox was.  As a result, your brain is left in limbo, not knowing that you completed a task and not knowing that you earned a point.  So your completed task goes unnoticed, uncelebrated, and seemingly unworthy of notice.

While this is an exaggerated example, the truth is that every day you are doing great things!  And you aren't celebrating them and you are not realizing how amazing these accomplishments are... because you do them every day!  Ask a newborn (good luck with that;) how easy it is to walk anywhere -- much less to the mailbox and back -- if they could, they would tell you what a great accomplishment it was!

A couple of years ago I started writing 3 things every day in my Planner -- it may be something as mundane as "Make dinner for the family" (which I do every day) or it may be a one-time thing like "Cancel the cable service" or it may be something fulfilling like "Write a thank-you note to _____"; the three things you choose are not as significant as the process of just choosing three things.  I would mark them off as I completed them and celebrate the completion of each one!  Go ahead and try this simple exercise... You deserve to be acknowledged!  I would love to hear feedback from you as you try this!

1. Choose three simple things to complete each day
2. Write them down somewhere you will see them (like in a Planner)
3. Mark them off as you complete them
4. Celebrate with some movement!  Do a happy dance; do a cheer -- whatever you do make the celebration a physical experience!
5. Enjoy a greater sense of self-worth!

Connect With Others...

          I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy.
          I woke and I saw that life is all serve.
          I served and I saw that service is joy.
          ~Khalil Gibran

In this age and world of technology, we are losing the art of connecting with other people.  And yet, we feel the greatest joy when we connect with others.  We feel more positive emotions when we are with other people, and we are ultimately happier.  So how do we connect with others?

          "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested 
          in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people 
          interested in you." ~Dale Carnegie

As we reach out to others, we increase our own happiness!  How do we do that?  Here are some ideas that have worked for me; I would love for you to comment below and share some of your own ideas!

~I know of no better way to overcome loneliness and connect with others than through kindness and service.  I have found in my life that I could always find someone who was lonelier than me, and when I reached out to them my own loneliness magically vanished!  It can even be something as small as giving up the parking space to another person or sharing a smile with a stranger!
          "Life is like a game of tennis. The player who serves well seldom loses." 
          ~Author Unknown

~Learn people's names, and call them by their name.  Acknowledge others and greet them by name.  Did you know that people are most influenced by those they trust, admire and believe care for them?  Acknowledging and greeting people by name is one way that we show people that we care for them.

~Make eye contact with people when you are talking with them, and show interest in what they are saying. I'm sure we've all experienced the person who is looking at their watch while they are talking to us -- or they are looking around the room for someone "better" to talk to.  When you are talking to someone, be present and take an interest in them!

~Choose the right friends... Sometimes friendships break down because they aren't built on a firm foundation.  When you find friends who like you and help you become better when you are at your worst, you have found a treasure greater than gold!  Seek friendships built on common interests and values.  True friendship is when two people mutually care about each other and serve each other and give to each other.
          "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want 
          is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." 
          ~Oprah Winfrey

~Be a light, not a judge.  I read that in a Stephen Covey book years ago and it has always stuck with me!  We are too quick to judge others.  Think of who has influenced you the most -- the person who lives the life you want to live and always talks to you in a positive way and helps you believe you can achieve anything OR the person who is constantly judging you and making you feel bad for your faults and shortcomings...  Be that person who sees the best in others and lifts them up!  This may take some practicing, but with time you can become that person!

When we moved to Houston 8 months ago, I was really nervous about leaving my friends behind.  I was afraid of what others would think of me.  I decided that what others think of me was out of my control, but that I could control what I thought about every person I met.  So I decided that I was going to like everyone I met!  This is a journal entry I wrote shortly before moving:
          "I'm going to like you and I hope you like me because I would really like to 
          be friends -- but if you don't want to like me, I will honor that AND I will 
          still like you!"

When I decided that liking other people was not going to be dependent on what they thought of me (which I have no control over), magic started happening! I quickly and easily made some amazing friends in my new city!

What are some things that have worked for you when making new friends -- or strengthening the friendships you already have?

Write! Write! Write!

Journaling

Next to breathing, I cannot think of any self development tool I have used that has been as simple and powerful as keeping a journal!!!  If you are a regular reader of my blog, or if you know me personally, you have probably heard me say this numerous times!

There are different journals that I keep (for you, it may work to keep one journal and include all of these in the same journal; I personally prefer to keep them separate):

~Personal Journal -- I keep this journal in a nice hardbound Journal.  I use this journal to record how God's hand has blessed my life.  Since I started keeping this journal 4 years ago, my gratitude has expanded more than I would have ever thought possible!  I constantly see God's hand in my life, and I now focus more on my blessings!  This journal has changed my life!  Not only am I more aware of the blessings that surround me, but I believe that I am now creating more blessings in my life because I am so focused on them!  This is the quote that inspired me to start keeping my personal journal this way:

          "You could ask yourself, 'How did God bless me today?' If you do that long 
          enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings. And 
          sometimes you will have gifts brought to your mind which you failed to notice 
          during the day, but which you will then know were a touch of God's hand in 
          your life." ~Henry Eyring

~Feelings Journal -- I use an inexpensive spiral notebook that I keep in a drawer by my bed.  Whenever I get stuck, I start writing my feelings.  When you write, you bypass the part of your brain that is trying to keep things the same, and you are able to get to the bottom of what you're really thinking!  90% of the time I am surprised at what I write!  On a piece of paper write, "I am feeling ______ because..." and start writing whatever comes to mind.  For example, If I am feeling confused I write, "I am feeling confused because..." and then I just start writing.

~Notes Journal -- I use an inexpensive spiral notebook for this, also.  I write down notes from church meetings, coaching calls, books that I read, teleseminars, etc.  I love to go back and read these notes periodically - they are a great refresher for the things I have already learned.

~Scripture Journal -- I use an inexpensive spiral notebook for this, also.  As I read and study the scriptures I write down my thoughts and feelings in this journal.  Sometimes I will pick a topic and study the scriptures to find more on that one topic, and I record what I find in this journal.

~Ideas Journal -- I don't actually keep an ideas journal, but I can see the benefits of keeping one.  Ideas are fleeting, and the sooner you write them down the more likely you are to remember them!

          "When you write down your ideas you automatically focus your full attention on 
          them. Few if any of us can write one thought and think another at the same time.  
          Thus a pencil and paper make excellent concentration tools." ~Michael Leboeuf

It doesn't matter how you decide to keep a journal -- the important thing is to start writing!

Breathe, breathe, breathe!

Just Breathe!

Breathing is the most important thing we do!  When we stop breathing, we stop living -- literally!

While all of us who are living know how to breathe, very few of us remember to breathe deeply on a consistent basis!  Why is this so important?

Our nervous system has two main divisions:  sympathetic and parasympathetic.  The sympathetic part mobilizes our fight-or-flight response.  Whenever we perceive a threat (it doesn't matter if we are in real danger or not) our body becomes primed to fight or flee -- our heart rate and breathing speed up and stress hormones are released through our bloodstream to prepare for the threat facing us.  Because we live in a stressful world, we are constantly activating the fight-or-flight response!  When this happens, there is decreased blood flow to the thinking part of our brain and we are not able to respond logically to the perceived threat.  When we stay in this state of stress for too long, we begin to suffer physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

We can counteract the effects of fight-or-flight by activating the parasympathetic nervous system.  The parasympathetic is also referred to as "rest-and-digest" or "relax-and-renew." When we are frightened or stressed, we hold our breath or start taking shallow breaths.  To get from the stressful state of the sympathetic back into the relaxed and renewing (and healing) state of the parasympathetic, we need to take long, deep breaths!

Be sure that you breathe out for a longer count than you breathe in!  I've been so many different variations of the count, but here is a simple one to get started:  Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds; hold for 4-8 seconds; breathe out through your mouth for 6-8 counts.  Do this several times a day and notice what happens with your mood!  You will be able to think more clearly, and solve problems more easily!

Look Up and Be Happy!

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." ~Luke 2:52

 I recently had the privilege of speaking to a group of amazing women in Southern California. The theme was "Look Up and Be Happy" and I based most of my class on this scripture. We know very little about Jesus' early life, and yet this scripture tells us so much more than we realize at first glance. Several years ago I found this talk by Ezra Taft Benson, given back in 1979 where he really expands on this scripture.  Most of what I will be writing about today is based on this talk; I highly recommend reading the talk in its entirety!

Jesus increased in wisdom (he grew mentally)
     Read great books, and remember that the most vital knowledge you can learn is the saving truths of the gospel!
     Create a vision - In Genesis 3:9 God asks Adam, "Where art thou?" and in Moses 4:15 God asks Adam "Where goest thou?"  Those are two great questions that we should be asking ourselves and pondering as we create our vision.
     Stay focused on your goal!  Don't allow for distractions!

Jesus increased in stature (he grew physically)
     Righteousness - Sin debilitates and affects the soul and the body
     Food - Eat lots of vegetables, fruits and grains (see D&C 89)
     Exercise - The best exercise is the one you will consistently do!
     Sleep - D&C 88:124: "...cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated."

Jesus increased in favor with God (he grew spiritually)
      Learn the will of God and do it!
     God's will comes from 3 sources: scripture, inspired words from the Lord's anointed, the Spirit of the Lord
     Practices that would increase favor with God: daily scripture study, daily prayer, serving others

Jesus increased in favor with man (he grew emotionally/socially)
     Joy and misery are eternal and opposite emotions!  Some emotions make us feel miserable (which Satan desires) and others make us feel joyful (which God desires).  Some emotions which make us feel miserable are fear, hate, anger, jealousy, frustration, discouragement, blame, guilt, worry, etc.  Some emotions which make us feel happy are joy, love, appreciation, peace, Godly sorrow (which leads to repentance), enthusiasm, belief, hope, and... Gratitude!!!

I think of the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional energies in our bodies like 4 tires on a car... If 3 of them are premium tires, with the exact amount of air, and with lots of tread, but the 4th tire is flat, you aren't going to get anywhere!

Your Next Step is... Take Action!!!

"The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today.
The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer." ~Nolan Bushnell, Founder of Atari and Chuck E. Cheese's

Right after my mother's death I was having a hard time being motivated.  So I started asking God in my prayers to "Show me the next step and help me have the courage to take it."  Most of us know what that next step is, but for whatever reason we don't have the courage to take the step.  I asked for them to be baby steps that I could easily manage.  Guess what?  If you take enough baby steps, then you still make progress!  In fact you make more progress taking baby steps in the right direction, then you do going full speed in the wrong direction!  You don't have to take massive action, just take that small action you feel inspired to take.

It may seem random and unrelated like cleaning out a certain closet.  But while cleaning out that closet you may find something that helps you figure out the next step, or a thought may come to you while you clean out the closet, or having the closet cleaned out may take something off your mind and open up space for something else.

Don't waste your time and energy questioning the action step -- just do it!  And then ask what the next step is!  One of my husband's favorite sayings is:  "God can't steer a parked car."  So get moving and then let God guide you where you can be the most effective.

So ask yourself:  "What is one thing I can do in the next 2-5 days that will bring me a step closer to my dream/goal?"  Then go and DO IT!!!

The Best Expert on You is... YOU!!!

This week we are going to be focusing on how you are your own best expert!

Nobody knows your goals and dreams like you do.  Nobody knows what motivates you like you do!  No one else even knows what it's like to be you!  No one knows you like you know yourself.

You may not feel comfortable hearing that.  You may be thinking right now that if you really are your own best expert, then you are in big trouble!  Because you may be feeling a lot of confusion about who you are and what your dreams, goals, and aspirations really are!

Our mind plays tricks on us.  Its job is to make sure we stay safe, and the way that it keeps us "safe" is to keep us from changing.  So it works really hard to convince us that everything should stay exactly how it is!

So if you want to find out who you really are, don't try to process it through your mind.  Instead take out a pen and piece of paper and ask yourself questions such as:  What do I really want in life?  If I could do anything I wanted for a whole day, what would it be?  What are my three greatest dreams?  Would I rather:  1) learn and teach knowledge; 2) live and promote a peaceful life; 3) fill the world with as much love as possible?  (Or in other words, which motivates me more:  knowledge, peace, or love?)  If I were to live my dream life, what would my next step be?  What could I accomplish in the next 3-5 days that would take me a step closer to discovering who I really am?

Write the answers to these questions - or any other questions you think of.  Keep writing until you have nothing else left to write.  If you are having a hard time coming up with something to write, then ask yourself the question "If I did know the answer to this question, what might it be?"  If you still can't think of anything, then go on to a different question.  You may be surprised at some of the answers you write!

Come back here and share your experience with this exercise!

Excitement Trumps Fear -- Every Time!!!

This summer I had an amazing opportunity open up for me.  I had put a major goal in my Life Vision statement, and I knew that the right teacher would show up at the right time to help me with this goal.  The right teacher showed up at the right time, but when it came time to make the decision to work with her, I was scared!!!  My fears were blocking me big time!  I wasn't afraid of the monetary investment or the time I would need to put into this goal... I was afraid of the inevitable success that will follow!  This new teacher told me my life would be completely different 12 months from now, and I knew she was absolutely correct!

But part of me was very excited about this opportunity.  After all, I had set the goal and expected this very thing to happen.  It will take me so much closer to living my life 100% on purpose -- in short, it's everything I want!

So why the fear?  Because our minds like to play tricks on us!  Our minds like to keep us away from change and to keep us "safe."

So I immediately went to work clearing out the fear and really, really building up the excitement in my mind!  The more excited I got, the less fearful I became.  Every time I felt the fears creeping back in, I would focus on all the great things that would come out of this opportunity, and I got really excited again!  And the fears disappeared again!

Is there a fear keeping you back from something you know will be really, really good for you?  As you get closer to the goal, do you feel the fear become almost paralyzing?  Then get really clear about your motive -- why did you want this goal in the first place?  Get excited about your goal and watch the fears disappear!